My wife and I purchased our first home in the Spring of 2024.  It was been something we have been preparing for for several years up to that point.  Our goal was always to find a good home in a good neighborhood where our kids could flourish. As we settled in, God laid it on my wife’s heart to open our space more, especially to those in our church.   

My wife suggested that we open our home to host and lead a dinner group to welcome and bless other people.  My immediate response was that I didn’t think we were ready.  Or at least I didn’t feel ready.  I was concerned about the commitment and some other matters.  Despite these reservations, and after prayer and discussion with others, we finally decided to take the step to lead and host a couples dinner group starting in September 2025.  Below is a summary of my experience that I hope you find helpful and encouraging:

We have made the group into our own

My wife and I had been in several dinner groups before, as well as some small groups at another church prior to joining Hoboken Grace.  We took the best of our collective experiences to shape our dinner group.  While we followed the guidance of the church, we also really made it our own.  The structure we have been using is to start with a song that includes the children, then open in prayer, then read a portion of scripture, then dive into the discussion questions, and then finally close in prayer.  And within this structure, we devote a good portion to scripture reading, some questions, and prayer time, where we collect prayer requests and praises and pray during the group.  Our connection has been rooted in these activities, along with the occasional Trader Joe’s snack!   

We are a diverse group and that is a good thing

Years ago, I thought a good small group was one where everyone was of similar age, profession, and overall stage in life.  I was a part of many groups over the years, but the one that was most meaningful to me was a small group at my old church that was really the opposite of my “ideal” group – and it was wonderful.  Fast forward to this dinner group – we are diverse in age, cultural backgrounds, professions, and some of us have kids (one married couple has a baby and another married couple has adult children).  And again, it is wonderful.  Why?  Because I find it edifying to be around fellow Christians who have gone ahead of us and to also support younger couples.  There is wisdom to be both gained and given.   

Most importantly, we are living out Psalm 40, together

Psalm 40:1-3, of David, says: 

“I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.  He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God.  Many will see and fear the LORD and put their trust in him.”  

There are several people in our group, myself included, who are going through trials of many kinds in this season of life.  We are in the king’s pit so to speak.  We are crying out to God and imploring God for rescue.  We are waiting patiently on God (on the good days, at least) to bring us out of our troubles into safety.  We yearn for when God will give us a new song to sing.  And finally, we eagerly anticipate when we can share our story with others so that they see His goodness and trust in Him themselves.  

It would be understandable, that since this is a new group, to be hesitant in sharing the things that bring us to our knees, and instead share “safer” prayer requests about a friend or family member (which of course is fine by the way!).  However, verse 3 is a wonderful forward looking statement: “many will see and fear the LORD and put their trust in him.”  The deeper the pit we find ourselves in can and will lead to a more powerful story of rescue that we can later share.  God will use our pain and suffering to positively shape a Christian’s faith and also the faith of those who do not yet know Him.  This is amazing to me.  

This dinner group is showing me that we can and should live out our faith together, especially during the dry, painful seasons of life.  We can and should be open and vulnerable in our groups because we are not there solely for ourselves, but for the benefit of others.  And finally, we can and should patiently wait on God together, who will deliver us and give us a new song, a wonderful song to share.  I look forward to this day.