“We should send Angie.”

I held my breath and looked around the room. Anthony just recommended I take his place as team leader on the spring mission trip to Guatemala since he couldn’t go. The thought had obviously occurred to me. I speak Spanish, I’ve been a dinner group leader for two years and I’ve led other teams. I’ve traveled and previously lived outside the U.S. But hearing someone make that suggestion left me with a knot in my stomach I couldn’t untie. I felt unqualified. I’d never been on a mission trip. It sounded weird in my head. I’m a pastor’s kid. A “PK”. I’ve been a Christian most of my life. I assumed that box should’ve been checked sometime during my teenage years. And I thought others assumed the same thing. I felt embarrassed. I’d never been on a mission trip and now I was supposed to lead one? Panic rose in my chest as my planner, calculating, perfectionist self grew anxious. I started thinking about all I would need to prepare for as a million and one questions grew in my mind.

I began fundraising, secretly hoping no one would ask about my experience with mission trips. I was excited about the trip but I was more anxious. I debated whether to just admit I’d never been in a mission trip before. A part of me felt that I should “come clean” about my inexperience. How big of a deal was it? My team of two suddenly grew to six. And I was responsible for all six of them coming back with all their limbs intact and all their wits about them.

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2018/05/Guat-5-1024x768.jpg)

As we began planning meetings with the team at Potter’s House, I researched everything I could about Guatemala, leading a team, and mission trips in general. I called my dad who had been on many mission trips. His advice to me was to stop planning so much. Well, more so that planning would only help me so far when I got there. He said it was more important to be fluid. “You have to be like a river,” he encouraged me. “Plans will change and you need to be able to adapt and be flexible.” Adapt. Flexible. Change. None of my favorite words. But I knew he was right.

I was letting my anxiety about what others would think of me get it the way. I was letting my unrealistic and baseless expectations of what kind of Christian I should be or where in my Christian walk I should be get in the way of drawing closer to Him and others. I wasn’t growing close with the team. I wasn’t setting myself up to truly love the people of Potter’s House. Something needed to change.

I dedicated myself to being fluid. I decided to share my fears with the team and learned they weren’t expecting anything from me. Two of them had been to Guatemala on previous trips, and they weren’t worried I was “inexperienced”. For nearly everyone else, it turned out this was also their first mission trip. We decided to focus on our mission–LOVE–rather than on our expectations. I began to share with others this was my first mission trip and that I was nervous about it. I received incredible encouragement from so many people.

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2018/05/Guat-3-1024x768.jpg)

We had an absolutely unforgettable week of serving the staff of Potter’s House. After first learning about the organization, those they impact and the various types of poverty they face, we traveled to a hotel for a staff retreat and prepared for everyone to arrive. In the lobby, we created a tunnel and cheered for each of the nearly 100 staff members as they came off the bus, kind of like you would see at a sports game. The next few days were filled with food, games and songs. Our team led worship twice a day. We played games involving marshmallows and toothpicks and trivia and shoes. At every meal and snack break, we got to know the staff and engaged in conversations that encouraged one another. We learned about telling God’s story, about our identity in Christ, about serving as singles in the Church. And we learned that the staff of Potter’s House felt immensely loved by our being there.

We dealt with some unexpected challenges. We had to move rooms four times because of a gas leak in the hotel. Propresenter, the program we used to show song lyrics in Spanish on a large screen, crashed a few times. I messed up the timing of one of the rap songs I sang. We didn’t end up playing all of the games we wanted to play. We didn’t do all of the activities we wanted to do. And we didn’t get to visit the volcanoes, as we’d hoped. But throughout the week, I started my day trusting God and remembering to be fluid. I decided it was okay to say “I don’t know” when I didn’t know. I decided to trust His hand in everything. I’m so grateful I was able to not only experience His love but to share it too. You never know what God will do with your willingness to serve Him.

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2018/05/Guat-6-1024x756.jpg)

_Angie will be leading this year’s trip to Guatemala again. If you’re interested in going, email angelissa@hobokengrace.com and [submit your application](https://hobokengrace.managedmissions.com/OurTrips) for the trip. The deadline is March 31st._


Letting Go

Andrew started playing drums more than a decade ago, synchronizing the music he created with that of his favorite bands. More recently, he made his debut on drums alongside Hoboken Grace’s worship band, synchronizing his longtime hobby with an opportunity to serve. The Writing Team spoke with him this week about how he started serving on the team and what the experience has been like so far.

**How and when did you get started playing drums?**

I always loved music and was in the school band since I was in third grade, although I was playing the baritone horn at the time. I started playing drums (outside of the school band) around the time I was in middle school. I loved bands like Mutemath, who had rhythm-centric melodies. I would plug in my iPod and play alongside their songs for years.

It’s an honor to be able to use the skills God has given you to service the church. I love practicing drums after work and now I get to practice with a purpose.

**Had you been serving at Hoboken Grace before that?**

Initially, I came to Hoboken Grace for the [FPU program](http://hobokengrace.com/blog/fpu-lifetime-freedom-2/) and wasn’t even attending the services. Then midway through the program I sat in on a service and loved it so much that I started coming every week. Afterward, I started to assist with leading the FPU class and then joined the Web Team awhile after that. 

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2018/05/Sunday_5.6.18_19-1024x682.jpg)

**What has the experience playing with the band been like so far?**

Amazing. Everyone always seems to have a really positive attitude and I always learn something new from just being around great musicians.

**What advice would you give someone who is thinking of joining the Arts Team?** 

Join now. Every opportunity to serve can cause a huge impact. I was surprised at how many people I met in church, where I told them I was apart of the Web Team and they told me they found the church through a Google search, causing them to check out a service. You never know how much God uses your work until you start and have an opportunity to look back at the fruits of your labor. 

_The band is always looking to grow! Are you interested in joining?_ [_Apply here_](http://hobokengrace.com/music/)_, or email_ [_dana@hobokengrace.com_](mailto:dana@hobokengrace.com) _for more information._


Playing With Purpose


In celebration of Hoboken Grace’s 10-year anniversary, we recently featured the stories [of eight couples who met through the church](http://hobokengrace.com/blog/you-had-me-at-hoboken-grace/) and are now married. But for every beaming wedding photo and heartfelt “I do,” we realize there are undoubtedly dozens of deleted pictures and plenty of “I don’ts.” We thought we’d use [the Love Project series](http://hobokengrace.com/series/love-project/) as an opportunity to sit down with Pastor Chris to talk about the benefits of dating someone at church, the risks, and everything in between.

**Q. What are the potential benefits of dating someone at church?**

A. The advantages to dating within your local church are numerous, but here are what I would consider the top three.

You get to see someone’s character on display before you begin to date them. Character is the basis for trust. Character is a foundational pillar of your relationship. God calls us to tie intimacy to character. When you date without knowing character, you’re taking a huge risk. Being in a local church together gives you a chance to see who has demonstrated character and pursue them.

You can also identify spiritual chemistry. You aren’t just a physical and intellectual being. You are spiritual. God calls us to tie intimacy to spiritual chemistry. He calls us to pursue people who are pursuing Him like we are. It’s very difficult to see that outside of a local church context. Within the church you can see how they pursue God and how they value Him.

Finally, you can see who actually helps you accomplish the mission. This isn’t your life to do with what you please. You’ve been given a mission. The person you spend your life with should be the one who best helps you accomplish that mission. How can you see that outside of the local church and being on mission together?

**Q. What are the risks or dangers of trying to find love at your church?**

A. I don’t think dating at church is inherently risky. It only becomes risky if you choose not to follow God when you date within the church. Here are two of the concerns I hear from people considering dating and what I tell them:

If we break up we can’t attend the same church: I’ve only seen that happen when a couple doesn’t listen to God about tying their intimacy to a marriage commitment. If you sleep together and break up, that will be true. If you follow God’s instruction and you don’t, you’ll be fine. Every time I’ve experienced a breakup where the couple couldn’t attend the same church, it was because they stole something from one another that wasn’t rightfully theirs.

I don’t want people to know about my dating life: Secrets are almost never safe. Accountability is good for relationships, not harmful. You also don’t have to broadcast it on social media. I often know who is dating well before anyone else because they will secretly hold hands while sitting together on Sunday thinking I can’t see them. It happens more than you think. I’m always cautious of someone who wants to hide their dating life from their “friends.”

**Q. What advice do you give to couples starting to date at church?**

A. Leave them better than you found them. That doesn’t mean that the breakup won’t hurt, but if you love them by helping them follow and pursue God, it won’t leave scars. Make every decision in your relationship based on making sure that they will be better off because of your influence in their life. Ultimately, that’s what love is. It’s serving the other person. Helping them find their way back to God. As long as you do that, you’ll be fine in the end.

**Q. When couples choose to date within a friend circle or within a workplace setting, if the relationship ends, there can often be permanent damage to that group. As a church, how can we do dating and breaking up better?**

A. Again, when things end badly it is usually because there was sexual intimacy outside of a marriage commitment, but there are other factors that can contribute as well.

Love is honest. We need to be honest with our friends about rejection. You don’t get to hate someone because they don’t want to spend the rest of their life with you. Rejection, while painful, does not impact our identity. Our identity is found in Christ and what He has done for us. When someone is finding their identity in a relationship, it usually ends really poorly. We need to be honest with them about that.

Break up faster. People get hurt when you drag it out. You’re not staying with them because you care about them. You’re staying with them because you’re comfortable, haven’t found anyone better and don’t want to do what needs to be done. We need to break up faster.

**Q. What else have you learned from watching couples do this well and less well over the years?**

A. The people who date well follow a few simple steps:

— They pursue character, not charisma. There are fools within the local church. Don’t date them even if they’re rich and beautiful.

— They aren’t afraid of rejection.

— They pursue the mission together. They watch how the other serves and gauge whether they see the mission the same way.

— They pursue God together. They talk about applying God’s word together and watch one another take steps. They challenge one another.

— They have accountability sexually. They have people they are honest with, and they tell the truth about their physical intimacy. They don’t take what isn’t theirs.

— They ask for help. They ask couples they respect to speak into their lives. They seek guidance.

— They commit. They don’t wait five years to commit to one another, putting unhealthy pressures on the relationship. When they see that they can pursue God better together, they commit to one another.


The Secret to Dating at Church


Hoboken Grace’s Amplify conference is a full day dedicated to growing in your relationship with God. But if you’re a parent, we get that it can be a hassle to set up child care for an entire day. That’s why we’ve done the work for you – child care during Amplify will be provided at Step By Step Learning Center, located at 720 Monroe St., Suite C-107, in the Monroe Center.

The staff at Step By Step have a fun day in store, with lunch and other activities planned.

And perhaps the best part? It costs just $20 for Amplify participants.

“Where else can you get child care all day long for $20?” says Jean, whose 7-year-old daughter stays at Step By Step during each conference.

While Jean says her daughter can be shy at first, especially in unfamiliar settings, she always seems to have fun at Step By Step.

“It’s just a really warm, inviting environment for children,” says Jean, adding that the staff provides snacks, crafts and other activities.

Her daughter has gotten used to the experience so much that she now attends summer camp at Step By Step — and going there during Amplify was a great introduction to that, Jean says.

What’s more, it’s allowed Jean and her husband to attend Amplify classes such as Marriage and Parenting together.

Titi and her husband have had a similar experience with Step By Step. They’ve been attending Amplify for several years, and taking advantage of the child care option has enabled them to take classes at the same time. Before child care was available, they’d each go for a half day, taking turns so someone would be home with their son.

“Since the facility has been made available, we’ve both been able to go together,” she says. “So that’s been fantastic.”

In addition, Titi says she’s always impressed with how clean the space is, which helps put her mind at ease.

The experience has been so great that her son, now 2½, attends Step By Step a few days each week. And whether he’s attending on a weekday or during Amplify, he always seems to have fun.

It’s a great option for any parents attending Amplify, she says.

“It’s just a fantastic facility,” says Titi. “It doesn’t cost much, and it frees you up to enjoy the day, without being worried about how well your child is being looked after.”

_To sign up and for more info, visit [hobokengrace.com/amplify](http://hobokengrace.com/amplify/)._

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2018/05/PHOTO-431x1024.jpg)


Because Child Care Shouldn’t Be Stressful

“One of the worst things we believe about love is that it’s supposed to come naturally,” Pastor Chris said during Week 1 of “[The Love Project](http://hobokengrace.com/series/love-project/).”

We spend years training for careers … but marriage? When it comes to building a life with someone, we assume we’ll figure it out along the way. We rarely ask for help — and when we do, it’s often too late.

So if you’re looking to strengthen the relationships in your life — whether it’s with your spouse, the person you’re dating, or even a friend or neighbor — here are some books to help you do just that.

### **For improving your communication skills** 

[The 5 Love Languages](https://www.amazon.com/Love-Languages-Secret-that-Lasts/dp/080241270X) Gary Chapman

You might have heard the phrase “love languages” on a recent Sunday morning or in dinner group. If you’re not already familiar with Gary Chapman’s book, the five “love languages” (words of affirmation, physical touch, acts of service, receiving gifts and quality time) are the various ways we can express and receive love. Determining which one each person in a relationship values and desires most can be a game-changer.

### For developing true intimacy

[Scary Close](https://www.amazon.com/Scary-Close-Dropping-Finding-Intimacy/dp/078521318X) Don Miller

As we’ve already established, relationships take work. But sometimes the hardest part is putting down the masks we’ve clung to for most of our lives. In “Scary Close,” Don Miller uses his own experiences to delve into why authenticity is one of the most important building blocks in any meaningful relationship.

### For improving the way you understand others

[The Road Back to You](https://www.amazon.com/Road-Back-You-Enneagram-Self-Discovery/dp/0830846190) Ian Morgan Cron, Suzanne Stabile

Like “love languages,” the Enneagram can be a useful tool when it comes to revealing how — and why — people are wired the way they are. “The Road Back to You” serves as an introduction to each of the nine Enneagram types, a system that encourages compassion and understanding for both yourself and those around you.

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2016/05/unspecified-682x1024.jpg)

### For navigating 21st century dating

[The New Rules for Love, Sex & Dating](https://www.amazon.com/New-Rules-Love-Sex-Dating-ebook/dp/B00JTYXSCU) Andy Stanley

So you’re looking for the “right person.” But what if you’re not who the person you’re looking for is looking for? That’s the question Andy Stanley poses in this sermon-turned-book (which is also available online in its [original format](http://northpoint.org/messages/the-new-rules-for-love-sex-and-dating)). While exploring the many trials and tribulations of 21st century dating, the North Point pastor points to what God says makes for a successful partner and suggests that the person you should be looking at most closely might just be yourself.

[Single, Dating, Engaged, Married](https://www.amazon.com/Single-Dating-Engaged-Married-Navigating-ebook/dp/B01MYLUTFD/ref=pd%5Fsim%5F351%5F6?%5Fencoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=97W61VMDR1DNMAXTM502) Ben Stuart

They’re four crucial seasons of life, and yet, many of us walk through them feeling completely unprepared. So how do you thrive during each stage? If you’ve ever wondered whether you’re approaching relationships the right way, this book is for you.

### For putting God at the center of your marriage

[You and Me Forever](https://www.amazon.com/You-Me-Forever-Marriage-Eternity/dp/B00NAC2KOO/ref=pd%5Fcp%5F129%5F3?%5Fencoding=UTF8&pd%5Frd%5Fi=B00NAC2KOO&pd%5Frd%5Fr=SMJQ8QTFB8A62NG3FXTH&pd%5Frd%5Fw=wdO1a&pd%5Frd%5Fwg=OYhfl&psc=1&refRID=SMJQ8QTFB8A62NG3FXTH) Francis Chan, Lisa Chan

Instead of focusing on advice for a rich marriage, Francis and Lisa Chan do nearly the opposite — zeroing in on the life that God calls married couples to. It’s a book about seeking first the Kingdom of God, and what happens when you put your marriage second.

### For loving the people in your life who aren’t easy to love

[Everybody Always](https://www.amazon.com/Everybody-Always-Becoming-Setbacks-Difficult/dp/0718078136) Bob Goff

“I’ve spent my whole life avoiding the people Jesus spent His whole life engaging,” Bob Goff writes in his new book. “God’s idea isn’t that we would just give and receive love but that we could actually _become love._ … What Jesus told His friends can be summed up in this way: He wants us to love everybody, always — and start with the people who creep us out. The truth is, we probably creep them out as much as they do us.” Using the same brand of storytelling as his bestseller “Love Does,” Bob Goff demonstrates what it means to love without limits — and what happens when we do.


Your Love Project Reading List

If you’ve been thinking of joining us on one of our two Axiom retreats this spring and summer, I have two words for you: Do it!

Whether you’re considering the retreat in Morristown or Montana, here are three reasons why you should make attending a priority.

**1). Making Space**

 Did you know our Father desires alone time with us? He invites us to get to know Him more. A friend recently explained it to me this way – what do we do when we want to get to know someone? We make space to spend time with them. We get to know them. The same is true with the One who created us and loves us. 

Life wants more from us — to do it more efficiently, to do it a certain way. It flies around us at warped speed and demands all of our external attention. Axiom is all about the internal — to allow us to find out who we are and how God sees us. 

Axiom allows us to make space in our lives to fully focus our attention on Christ and develop a deeper intimacy with Him.

**2). Putting It Into Practice**

We don’t just struggle with making space for God. Oftentimes, we don’t know how to put that rhythm into practice in our daily lives. Axiom gives us space to learn how to receive God’s love in the quiet moments. In doing so, we are able to practice how to spend time with the God who loves us so. 

You will walk away with practical steps, resources and a plan to further develop rhythms in your life.

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2018/05/IMG_69141-1024x768.jpg)

**3). Growth in Community**

You are not on this journey alone. That is the beauty of the body of Christ. As we grow deeper with Christ we can experience growth in community with one another. 

Axiom allows us to learn these rhythms together as a family. We seek to be people who walk with God, who know him well, and who live lives with rhythms that call us back frequently to the One we love most. 

I invite you to join us. Your Father longs to spend some quality time with you. 

[Axiom: Homecoming](https://hobokengrace.churchcenter.com/registrations/events/128214): June 1-3

With storytelling, movie illustrations, Biblical teaching and personal prayer time, this weekend at St. Mary’s Abbey in Morristown will further your understanding of His dreams and purposes for your life.

[Axiom: Pilgrimage:](https://hobokengrace.churchcenter.com/registrations/events/128598) August 6-11\. 

This wilderness retreat that will take you deep into the wilds of Montana, in a valley framed by the Bob Marshall Wilderness & Mission Mountain Wilderness.

_For more information, contact sarah@hobokengrace.com_


The Time and Space You Could Use

Nowadays there are so many ways to sharpen your skills. You can listen to podcasts, read a blog or two, YouTube it, or even attend a webinar. So, why bother with the time and expense of an in-person conference like Amplify?

As Proverbs 27:17 says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” Now, I’m no hunter, but I do love to cook. One of the things I know you need to be a successful amateur chef is good knives. When you sharpen your knives, the edge becomes sharper and it makes your task of cutting and slicing more efficient. Furthermore, we’re told in Hebrews 4:12 that, “For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword…” And so it is safe to say that when we engage with one another while learning God’s Word, we’re being sharpened by the double-edge sword that God has given us.

One of my favorite movies is _Dead Poet’s Society_. Robin Williams plays John Keating, an English teacher who strives to teach his students more than literature. There’s a scene in which he gets up on his desk and says, “I stand upon my desk to remind myself that we must constantly look at things in a different way.” He then invites the students to stand on his desk with him. He says, “Just when you think you know something, you have to look at it in another way.”

It’s true. Have you ever listened to a favorite song in a different setting or read a treasured book in a change of scenery and noticed something new? That’s the power of learning in a different setting. What you hear on Sundays or in your quiet time is powerful, but what God can reveal to you through other people and in other settings is formidable.

Do you ever struggle to retain what you learned on a Sunday? Have you ever been so motivated by what you heard spoken from the stage that you can’t wait to put it into practice, and yet by the following week you’ve already forgotten it? A [study](https://www.cmaresources.org/article/why-are-we-so-ineffective-in-making-disciples%5Fkatie-driver) at the University of Minnesota recently found that adults retain 5 percent of what they learn from a lecture and 10 percent of what they learn through reading. Yet, they retain 50 percent of what they discuss in a group! That’s one of the main reasons Amplify exists! We want you to interact with one another, put it into practice and walk away grasping even more of what God is trying to do in your life.

“But, I’ve already taken every growth track,” you might say. Since launching Amplify in 2014, we’ve offered many of the same classes. Why? Because of the foundational truths found in each of them. Not sure which growth track is right for you? Here’s a helpful guide to answer some of the questions you might have:

_Q: I’ve never been to Amplify. Which track should I start with?_

_A:_ [Foundations](https://hobokengrace.churchcenter.com/registrations/events/125014) – the recommended class for all first-timers. This class focuses on the basic habits every Christ follower needs to develop in order to grow in spiritual maturity. Topics covered include getting a “grasp” on the Bible, prayer and how to maintain these habits.

_Q: I’ve taken Foundations. What’s next?_

_A:_ [Empower](http://hobokengrace.com/amplify/#first) – Do you ever wonder what gifts and talents God gave you? Did you know that God has given you these gifts to impact and serve one another? What God made you to be determines what He intends for you to do. Discover what your unique design is and learn how to develop it.

_Q: I’ve taken Foundations and Empower! What’s next?_

_A:_[ Story](http://hobokengrace.com/amplify/#first) – By engaging with Scripture, joining the conversations, and interacting with one another, you will discover how your story, the biblical story and God’s story all come together in one beautiful masterpiece. You’re going to be encouraged to ask questions, and learn from others as you listen to what God is doing in their lives. By hearing your story and by listening to others, we have the potential to change our lives, if you let it happen.

_Q: I’m on a role! I’ve taken Foundations, Empower and Story. Give me more!_

_A:_ Awesome. Dive into any one of our book studies. Why study the Bible? Studying it is a way to improve our knowledge of God. Through His words, we come to know not only His nature and attributes, but we also come to understand His plan for every one of us. In a greater sense, we also come to know God’s plan, His sovereignty, His love and more. There is only so much we can learn about God apart from the Bible. But with it, we can know Him better.

1 Samuel — The book of 1 Samuel is full of many intriguing and riveting individual stories. You will learn not only to read Samuel well, but you’ll begin to be aware of themes, characters and the history of God’s people. As you walk through the historical books of scripture, you see God reveal His sovereignty and his covenant with His people.

Ecclesiastes — The book of Ecclesiastes has fascinated, perplexed and inspired people for thousands of years. Using autobiographical narrative, proverbs, parables and allegories, the writer probes the deepest questions of life… What am I here for? Where can I find real satisfaction? What is the point of this whole thing? The words of Ecclesiastes have never been more relevant, as believers in the 21st century wrestle with what it means to live life to the fullest.

Paul’s Letters (2 Timothy)— **New for spring 2018** — Join us as we dive into Paul’s letters and focus specifically on the epistle of 2 Timothy. Learn about our responsibilities as Christ followers in today’s world and dig deeper into the saving work of Jesus.

_Q: I’m a parent or I’m going to be a parent!_ 

_A:_ We have a class for you, too, AND we have childcare! We’re excited to offer Parenting once again. The class focuses on the stages of parenting and how we can raise our children to know and understand who God is in their lives. It’s an Amplify favorite that will encourage you and challenge you in one of the most important roles you’ll ever play.

So don’t wait. Sign up today!

[![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2017/10/AMOJ-1024x379.png)](http://hobokengrace.com/amplify)


Why Attending Amplify Is Worth It

_This blog post originally ran in January 2016, but we’re pulling it out of the archive as we continue talking about relationships as part of our [Love Project](http://hobokengrace.com/podcast/) series._

One of the things this season of life is teaching me is how to better empathize with others.

I realized recently that many of my single friends are likely experiencing a version of what I am now – this [longing for a season of life](http://hobokengrace.com/blog/finding-gratitude-amid-grief/) that has not yet happened. Maybe, like me, you face daily reminders that you are not where you want to be – they show up multiple times a day, reminding you that you are behind. You feel like there are massive roadblocks keeping you from a role you were meant to play. You feel silly being reduced to tears over the desire to be somewhere different from where you are right now. It feels wrong to be devastated by your goal to be in a life-giving, loving relationship not coming true in your desired time, but you are devastated nonetheless.

Friend, you have every right to feel that way.

I have so many amazing, attractive, successful friends who are single. I see all their incredible qualities and it seems to me that it is given that one day they will meet their match. I want to believe they will be rewarded for their years of faithfully waiting for that person and pursuing the callings on their lives while being open to love if it crosses their paths. I believe this because they have so much to offer, and because they deserve it. They seem to be doing everything right. But me telling my single friends that I know marriage will happen for them is not helpful, because I do not actually know that. My words are hopeful, but devoid of meaning.

When our friends are going through tough times, especially when they are sharing something painful with us, we tend to try to soothe their pain and offer advice. We offer platitudes because suffering and unrealized dreams make us feel uncomfortable. We want to fix it, make it better. We try to offer hope, but it often feels empty and falls flat.

Telling each other success stories is how we aim to prove that things will get better, that there is hope. And sometimes, we do find hope in those stories. But we need to be careful not to take one person’s story and use it as a rule for all people’s stories. It is a beautiful thing to have hope, but it’s another to make blanket statements and say because something happened for one person, it will happen for all of us.

We need to give ourselves and others permission to grieve instead of downplaying the reality of the suffering. Pretending that our circumstances are trivial or comparing our pain in degree to others’ does not make it less painful. Instead, it metastasizes as we try to push it down and ignore it.

Can we not trivialize the pain and try to make it go away? Can we instead just sit and say that yes, it sucks? Yes, it is hard. Can we practice acknowledging that it exists and just be with one another?

God has promised me certain things in my conversations with Him – that I will be a mother, one way or another – but it is not as worthwhile to hang on to those promises as it is to hang on to the One who made the promises in the first place. I believe in a promise-keeping God, because I know that to be His character. He is good. He is love. And He is trustworthy despite my circumstances. He has shown up before, throughout the course of history, and fulfilled promises for His people. But answered prayers often look far different from our expectations. There are plenty of unrealized promises still lingering.

So how do we acknowledge suffering and longing, but not dwell in it, refusing to move? What does it look like for you to choose joy?

_Erika is a dinner group coach at Hoboken Grace. You can read more about faith, relationships, and life lessons on her blog, [Married in Mile Square City](http://marriedinmilesquarecity.com/)._


When Your Timelines Go Astray

Try as we might to grow closer to God, our daily whirlwind of responsibilities and distractions often pulls us in other directions. But what if you set aside several days to simply experience His presence?

This spring and summer, you’ll have two opportunities to do just that.

From June 1-3, Hoboken Grace members are invited to [Axiom: Homecoming](https://hobokengrace.churchcenter.com/registrations/events/128214), a weekend-long retreat at St. Mary’s Abbey in Morristown. With storytelling, movie illustrations, Biblical teaching and personal prayer time, it’s a weekend that will further your understanding of His dreams and purposes for your life.

Then, join us for [Axiom: Pilgrimage](https://hobokengrace.churchcenter.com/registrations/events/128598) from August 6-11\. This wilderness retreat that will take you deep into the wilds of Montana, in a valley framed by the Bob Marshall Wilderness & Mission Mountain Wilderness.

Axiom, an international program, is designed to help participants gain intimacy in their conversations with God. For some, that might mean wrestling through specific questions. For others, the retreat may involve focusing on where God is leading them — and exploring that through journaling, scripture and prayer.

Please note that both retreats are for members only. If you are not yet a member, you can take that step by attending [Core](https://hobokengrace.churchcenter.com/registrations/events/5472), a class held on the first Sunday of each month.

Want to learn more about Axiom? Watch Anthony talk about his experience below.

\[vc\_video link=”https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VeV8pTiDJVE”\]


Press Reset

Once a month, a Hoboken Grace table is set up outside of ACME supermarket on 7th and Clinton streets, inviting shoppers to drop off purchases for the Hoboken Shelter as they head out to their cars. On the way in, shoppers are offered a postcard listing “Most Needed Items” – things you’d expect such as cereal, tuna fish and marinara sauce. There are also more unusual things, like postage stamps and socks.

Early into the collection process on a recent Saturday afternoon, some groceries were already bagged and concealed behind the tablecloth. Many donated products remained visible to attract the attention of shoppers, and give people an idea of what particular items we were collecting. Many smiles, “thank yous” and short greetings were exchanged, and some people gave money instead of food. One serious little girl walked up to the table with her family’s offering of a shampoo bottle, and handed it to a grateful volunteer. A rough tally was kept of what was donated, and at the end of the day, whatever items still lacking were purchased with the donated cash.

About a half-hour before leaving, we started packing up the rest of the donations and putting them in the hatch-back of an available car. Just then, there was a flurry of new supplies, and whenever the table was almost cleared, the flow of donations kept it full — giving the impression of a never-ending cornucopia of food.

At the shelter on 3rd and Bloomfield, some of the men benefiting from these donations were called out to the sidewalk to help carry them in. A woman in the back of the jam-packed vehicle handed out bags as quickly as possible. The men formed a sort of fire brigade to pass the bags along their line — across the sidewalk, through the door, and into the kitchen.

“People commonly think of the shelter as a soup kitchen, and a safe place for people to sleep overnight,” said Warren Hall, one of the organization’s staff members. “It is those things — and more. We serve 400 meals a day, and our guests take 1,000 showers a week. Some people with stable housing and jobs still come in for the free meals if their budget is tight that week –- we don’t turn anyone away.”

In addition, the shelter offers laundry facilities, and the staff can provide suits and ties for men going on job interviews. There are case managers available who can help people start the process of finding a job, finding an apartment, and connecting with Garden State Episcopal CDC in Jersey City for financial assistance, said Warren.

The shelter is officially called The Community of Faith Hoboken Shelter, because it is supported by local churches and the United Synagogue of Hoboken. The staff encourages the guests to be people of faith, to pray before meals — and rely on the Lord as well as on institutions that are set up to help them.

The Hoboken Grace building is located directly behind the shelter on 3rd street, and shelter guests are encouraged to go to the services and programs. Some get to 301 Garden early on Sunday morning to help set up the folding chairs that form the sanctuary seating. And Millie, the receptionist at the shelter, was just baptized at Hoboken Grace on Easter.

Likewise, the Hoboken Grace community has been serving the shelter for several years – and there are several ways you can help. Even though there are 20 staff-members employed there, the shelter could not run without the help of volunteers. The most popular way to lend a hand is to serve meals. A group from Hoboken Grace [meets on the first Friday evening of each month](https://www.facebook.com/events/2042837312621599/) to do just that. You can also participate at the food collection tables, which are set up one Saturday a month at ACME (7th and Clinton Street, 10:00am – 1:30pm) – email outreach@hobokengrace.com.

There is also an ongoing [Amazon.com Wish List](https://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/wishlist/28CU0H1B5IWK2?pldnSite=1) for the shelter. People can choose what they want to donate from the wish list, pay Amazon, and it gets delivered straight to the shelter. Quick, easy, and available from anywhere.


Lending a Hand to a Neighbor

The Assimilation Team works to make sure every guest at Hoboken Grace knows they matter. It comprises three smaller groups: the Engagement Team (helps people find their place to serve), the Concierge Team (helps guests take next steps) and Connection Points (helps answer any questions from first-time guests).

Serving with Assimilation is an opportunity to show guests that they matter – and to make them feel as comfortable as possible. But there are plenty of other reasons people serve in this area as well. The Writing Team recently asked three people why they serve on their respective team:

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2018/04/HG10thBday-20180204-DSC_3936-e1524107293676-1024x609.jpg)

### Jarid

“For my whole adult life, I cynically, and insecurely, avoided church, and discussions of faith, because I figured I would be looked down on for my doubts and skepticism. Speaking with someone at Connection Points after one of my first services here at Hoboken Grace showed me that I had nothing to fear; church was exactly the place to come to _have_ that discussion. I found my faith here; I found my real life and self here, and I wanted to be able to pass that same gift and assurance on to someone else who may be taking those first tentative steps on the same journey.”

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2017/12/18588941_1520428844647836_5163522321839910810_o-e1524107727190-1024x730.jpg)

### Elyse

“I love the Concierge Team because it gives me an opportunity to love people in our church — as well as first-time guests — by praying for them, answering questions, helping them get connected and making sure they know about all the amazing resources available to them. In my full-time editing job, newsletters are a big part of our strategy, so helping craft and send Hoboken Grace’s emails is a great fit (though that’s certainly not a prerequisite for anyone else who’s interested in joining us!).”

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2018/04/DSCF2795-3-1024x682.jpg)

### John

“Serving on the Engagement Team is an opportunity to be a part of a first-time guest’s experience and to love them well. It’s also an opportunity to teach people about the joy of being a part of the service outside of just attending.”

[![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2018/02/pic-1024x490.jpg)](http://hobokengrace.com/teams)


Why I Serve on the Assimilation Team

Amplify is back! Hoboken Grace’s [one-day growth conference](http://hobokengrace.com/amplify) is designed to boost your faith and your pursuit of Christ by equipping you to move forward in specific areas of personal growth. That might mean developing stronger spiritual habits, exploring your gifts, gaining confidence in telling your story or learning new ways to read different books of the Bible.

So circle Saturday, May 19th on your calendar/planner/iPhone and choose from one of seven growth tracks.

— Develop [consistency in your relationship with God](http://hobokengrace.com/blog/running-the-race/) through prayer, scripture and other spiritual habits in **Foundations**.

— Discover [clarity](http://hobokengrace.com/blog/share-his-story/) and [confidence](http://hobokengrace.com/blog/your-story-matters/) in telling your **Story**.

— Evaluate how you can use your [gifts and talents](http://hobokengrace.com/blog/discover-gifts-use/) in **Empower**.

— Learn how to study different literature types with our three book studies, **Ecclesiastes** and **1 Samuel** and **2nd Timothy**.

— And learn more about God’s vision for **Parenting**.

Pick an area you want to focus on and [register today](http://hobokengrace.com/amplify/). Lunch will be provided and childcare is available. You can find more information [here](http://hobokengrace.com/amplify/).


Pick Your Track

How do you read the Bible? How do you dive deep and embrace all that it has to offer?

Amy teaches Hoboken Grace’s [Genesis Story Study](https://hobokengrace.churchcenter.com/registrations/events/115494) on Sunday mornings, and whether you’ve taken her class or not, she has some great tips for exploring God’s Word.

She recently talked to the Writing Team about how to find time in a busy schedule, how to get started, and how studying the Bible can change your life.

**Q. What type of study questions should one be asking while studying the Bible?**

A. I use a document, which has three different ways to study the Bible, with people who take the Sunday Story class that I lead. Whichever you use, _always_ begin with reading through the text several times.

_The Bible study method Amy walks her class through focuses on observations (looking at the recorded text without adding to it in the process), interpretation (examining what the original author was trying to say to the original audience) and application (applying what you have studied to your own life). She also walks her class through how to meditate on God’s Word, as well as several questions that can be helpful for digging deeper. (Who wrote this portion of scripture? What are the main points? What did you find most surprising about it?)_ 

**Q. Do you have a specific process? And do you take a different approach to studying the Old Testament from the New?**

A. I like to use the observations, interpretation and application method. You can use the same process for studying the Old and New Testament. However, it is important to know that the whole need and promise for a Savior is established in the Old Testament. The New Testament addresses the fulfillment of that need and promise in Jesus. Understanding the Old Testament traditions and law brings tremendous meaning and context to the arguments of the New Testament.

**Q. For those who have never read the Bible, what would you say is the difference between hearing a verse explained during church and taking the time to study a Biblical verse at home?**

A. It is so important to learn to read and study the Bible for yourself. Being alone with God, in His Word, will be when God is able to teach and show you who He is in your life. Studying the Bible is about getting to know God more, to draw closer to Him. As you encounter Him through His Word, He will begin to show you what you believe, and how to replace any lies with His truth. It’s then when we can really start walking in His ways and His truth. His Word is life changing. Another reason to study the Bible is to be able to discern whether or not what people are teaching is the truth. If you only rely on what others say about God, you may be misled and you will definitely miss out on the personal, specific things He has just for you!

**Q. How have you personally experienced spiritual growth while studying the Bible?**

A. While I grew up going to church, it wasn’t until my early 30s that I really began my personal relationship with Jesus. I figured if I was going to follow Him, I needed to know who He was and who He says I am. So, I grabbed the Bible that I owned and actually opened it. As I started reading it, my desire to learn more about Him and more of His ways grew. I had heard Bible Stories as a kid in Sunday school, but really I just always thought of the Bible as a rulebook of what to do and not do. As I started studying and reading the Bible, I learned more about how amazing He is and how much He loves me. I began to discover that the Bible wasn’t just a book of old, unrelatable stories or rules, but it was filled with stories of His love. Once I began spending time in His Word, I wanted more time with Him, not less. I also found out how fun God’s Word can be! The things He will show you as you draw to Him, through His Word, really are exciting!

**Q. What would you recommend is the best way to incorporate Bible studies in a busy daily schedule? And what is a good amount of time to dedicate when you’re just starting out?**

A. Each person has to determine when in their day is the best time to spend with God. It has to be planned and prioritized. It won’t “just happen.” Once you determine the time, pick a book of the Bible you want to study. One thing that I enjoy is doing a study with other people. It’s great for accountability. When doing a group study, make sure that the discussion as a group always comes after you have spent time doing the study alone. Don’t settle for just getting to hear what other people have learned, but spend time in God’s Word with Him first. I find 20 to 30 minutes is a good starting point.

**Q. Are there any advantages to using online Bible study sites, and are there any websites that you would recommend?**

A. I would recommend getting a study Bible. Study Bibles are great because they contain many tools to help you study.

This is a good resource book:

“[Rick Warren’s Bible Study Methods](https://www.amazon.com/Rick-Warrens-Bible-Study-Methods/dp/0310273005).” Twelve different methods are explained in simple, step-by-step instruction.

This is a good resource book if anyone is interested in learning more about the inductive study method: “[How to Study Your Bible](https://www.amazon.com/How-Study-Your-Bible-Life-Changing/dp/0736953434/ref=sr%5F1%5F1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1523501029&sr=1-1&keywords=how+to+study+your+bible+kay+arthur).”

Website: [BibleGateway.com](http://biblegateway.com)


Where to Start and Other Questions on Bible Reading

At the beginning and end of each semester of Financial Peace University, participants fill out an anonymous questionnaire meant to measure how the class has impacted them over the course of the nine-week program.

On average, families and individuals see a [$4,000 turnaround in their finances](http://hobokengrace.com/blog/make-finances-add/) — which might mean debt paid off, money saved, or both.

This winter, that number doubled, tripled and quadrupled. On average, participants saw a turnaround of $7,723 in the Sunday morning class, $10,726 in the Monday evening class and $17,000 in the Thursday evening class. And that was just the financial impact of the class. Those who take the class also experience the freedom of seeing credit cards and student loans paid off, stronger marriages and a renewed sense of confidence. Even for people who aren’t in debt and those who already consider themselves financially savvy, the course has the potential to change the trajectory of their finances – and their entire life.

“Even though it’s a class about finances, it doesn’t stop there,” said Kristin, one of the FPU facilitators.

Another semester of FPU is starting this month, and those who take the class will have the opportunity to become facilitators themselves this fall, when we want to encourage our entire family to walk through FPU together. But in order for that to happen, we will need many more FPU facilitators to help facilitate — and you can only become a facilitator if you’ve taken the class. The role itself is a small commitment, mostly involving putting on a video for the group and then leading a discussion about that week’s topic – whether it’s saving, budgeting, insurance, mortgages or giving.

For Andrea, leading a group has given her an up-close look at the many ways lives can be changed.

“I’ve seen marriages restored (the no. 1 reason for divorce is money-related), people being set free from thousands of dollars in debt, and overall false money-related arguments confronted with God’s truth,” said Andrea, who became a facilitator at Hoboken Grace this year after moving from Miami, where she and her husband also led an FPU group.

One story that sticks out is a man at their church in Miami who paid off $200,000 in debt after going through FPU. And that’s just one way someone’s life has changed, she said.

“There’s not one week during FPU that you don’t hear about a breakthrough in someone’s life,” Andrea added. “It encourages your own path with God.”

For Kristin, being an FPU leader has provided the tools and community to keep her accountable in her own finances.

“When I start falling off track, I have a community of people to talk with who are on the same journey with me,” she said. “We keep each other motivated.”

But she’s also seen countless people impacted.

“It helps facilitate conversations for couples that they’ve never had before or struggled with,” she said. “It’s really amazing to see the peace it brings to people’s lives knowing they are finally on the same page about this and have a structured way to talk about it and do it.”

And she’s also watched singles realize how capable they are of being financially free and independent.

“It can be scary living in such an expensive area on your own, and if you have debt, that maximizes the fear and your decisions start reflecting that,” she said. “You take on guilt and shame for decisions you made years ago. But FPU provides a plan, something to follow — that structure provides peace in itself. Then, once they start seeing actual results, it’s really cool to watch the confidence individuals adopt and the joy that it brings.”

_Financial Peace University groups start September 9th. [Registration is now open.](https://hobokengrace.churchcenter.com/registrations/events/137626)_


How to Change Your Financial Outlook — and Help Others Do the Same

For years, Anthony has been a familiar, welcoming face on Sunday mornings. As part of the staff at Hoboken Grace since 2014, he has served as Outreach Director and is often on stage leading announcements or presenting the message with his unmistakable blend of energy, humor and humanity. Now he is turning his talents toward launching a new ministry at Hoboken Grace as he takes on the role of Care Pastor. We recently sat down with Anthony to learn more about the ministry and how our church family can get involved. 

**Q. What does it mean to be a Care Pastor?**

A. To take the pulse of our church family and identify who may need a little extra care and how to best get them that care. That could mean offering counseling services, visiting people in the hospital, or helping plan funerals or weddings. I’m also putting together a team of people who have the gift of empathy and care. We will need licensed counselors, as well as people who are just really good listeners and are willing to make themselves available to sit and grieve or pray with others. One of the most effective tools of care that we have is our own experience of healing. Part of my job will be connecting people who are struggling with others who have gone through the same thing and want to use that experience for good.

**Q. Why are we starting a care ministry at Hoboken Grace?**

A. As a young church, we are very fortunate that we don’t have a lot of funerals or members in need of hospital visits. So in the past, this sort of care has just been done by whoever is available when help is needed. But as our church grows, these needs are arising more frequently, and we realized that we need to have a process and a dedicated team in place to be able to serve our family well.

At Hoboken Grace, we talk about being a Great Commandment and Great Commission church. Jesus came to say that the two greatest commandments are to love God and love others. The Great Commission is to teach others to love God and love others. You can love God with all your heart, soul and mind, but there is another part to that, and that is loving others. Care ministry is all about how do we love others well and take care of our family well, so they can, in turn, love others.

**Q. Why do you feel called to take on this new role?**

A. When I joined staff at church, I took a [StrengthsFinder test](https://www.gallupstrengthscenter.com/). My strengths were empathy, harmony, includer, communicator and positivity. When you look at that, you know I’m not a systems guy. I’m terrible at spreadsheets. But one thing I do love is people. I have always gravitated toward that kind of work. I don’t want anyone to feel alone. If someone is hurting or going through something, I want to get in there and see if there is anything that can be done. As Christ followers, we are all called to do this for each other, so that we can walk through the trenches together.

**Q. It seems like a lot of this work is about sharing the burden when life gets too heavy. How do you stay positive and motivated when this kind of work can be so emotionally draining?**

A. The possibilities keep me going. The sense that you never know what might emerge from even the darkest situation. You just never know what a kind word or sitting and listening to someone is going to set in motion. God can take something small and transform a life, and we might not even realize it’s happening. That’s what excites me. With God, anything is possible, and we can be a part of that.

**Q. How can our church family pray for you and participate in this ministry going forward?**

A. I think prayers for strength for both myself and the team members who step into these roles. When you walk through difficult times with people, it can take a lot out of you. We need our church family to be praying so that we can consistently go to God for nourishment rather than letting the work exhaust us to the point that we look elsewhere to fill my tank.

And I’d like to invite anyone who has ideas about what a care ministry could look like at Hoboken Grace to reach out to me. I’m looking for people who feel called to love in this way and would like to get involved.

_For more information or to get in touch with Anthony, you can email him at anthony@hobokengrace.com._


Loving Others Well

A few years ago, I was at a bar with a friend who struck up a conversation with the bartender. They started talking about what brought her there — a few people from Hoboken Grace had wandered over after a [connection event](http://hobokengrace.com/events/) — and what she liked to do on the weekends. And then she invited him to church.

This was shocking to me not only because she had just invited a complete stranger, but because she’d made it look so easy. And it was something I could never picture myself doing. I’m practically a 10 on the introvert scale, and unless I’ve known someone for years, I feel awkward in most conversations. So inviting someone to church? I get anxiety just thinking about it.

For years, when Easter rolled around and we started talking on Sundays and in dinner group about inviting others, I couldn’t help but feel somewhat inadequate. On the one hand, I knew that as a Christian, I was supposed to be sharing the message of Christ. But I’m not great at initiating invites to brunch, let alone church. And the whole thing usually served as a reminder that I don’t have the social skills of some of my more extroverted friends (whom I’m incredibly grateful for, because otherwise I’d probably never leave my apartment).

To be fair, not all introverts are shy, awkward or antisocial (and extroverts can be just as prone to social anxiety). But generally speaking, introverts find their fuel in alone time, while extroverts thrive in being around other people. They process things and approach relationships differently. And while there are different levels of introversion and extroversion, most of us identify with one or the other.

But while an estimated one-third to one-half of us are introverts, we live in a world that seems to have a cultural bias toward extroverts, more often valuing charisma and action over silence and contemplation. Christians and churches are no exception — oftentimes, we celebrate the people who are comfortable sharing their story with strangers, who are incredibly friendly and hospitable, who eagerly sign up to serve, and, who, yes, invite other people to church.

As someone who’s more quiet and reserved than most people, it took years to shake the sense that my social awkwardness was some kind of epic shortcoming. It took years to stop feeling like being an introvert somehow made me inadequate — especially when it came to serving God. But as I came to realize, the Church is a body of people with different gifts, who can accomplish God’s work because of that. Introverts can serve God just as well, though they’re often in less visible roles. They might not be the people who are greeting on Sunday mornings, or standing at Connection Points. They are most likely not the people inviting random bartenders to church — and that’s okay. 

But if you identify as an introvert — or anyone who deals with social anxiety — that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t invite that person you feel God is nudging you to invite. So how do you do that when it goes against your entire wiring? Here are a few suggestions:

**1). Think about the people you’re closest with**

So we’ve already established that you’re probably not going to invite a random bartender or someone you’ve just met. But there’s likely someone in your life who you might feel more comfortable inviting on Easter (which, studies show, is when people are most likely to attend church). Consider inviting a parent, sibling or roommate.

**2). Play to your strengths**

Generally speaking, a lot of introverts are more intuitive and better at picking up subtle things than extroverts. Maybe you’ve noticed that someone you know is going through a tough time. Maybe they’re the person God is nudging you to invite this year. And speaking of strengths, perhaps you’d feel more comfortable inviting them by email or text.

**3). Check your comfort level at the door**

Whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert, being vulnerable and stepping outside our comfort zones is what enables us to grow. And really, most of us — myself included — make inviting someone way more complicated than it is. The worst scenario is that someone says no. 

**4). Get out of your head**

Chances are, you’re better at inviting people than you think. If you tell yourself you have nothing to offer and that your words are ineffective, you’ll likely only continue to believe that. My extroverted friend — the one from the bar — says getting an invitation from an introvert feels more personal and intriguing than an invite from an extrovert. “The down side to being an extrovert is that people sometimes get overwhelmed by them, or assume they’re just one of many to get an invite, and therefore even if that person is special it might not seem meaningful to them,” she says.

**5). Find a place where you’re comfortable inviting someone — in your own way**

If you’re not comfortable with inviting someone right now (it took me a few years to get there), consider joining a team where you can use your strengths to do that in a less scary way. For example, through social media and the newsletter, the Communications Team indirectly invites hundreds of people to attend services on Easter. In addition, members of most teams at Hoboken Grace — Grace Kids, First Impressions, etc. — will serve on Easter Sunday, helping to create a welcoming environment for those who might be checking out church for the first time. If you’re interested in doing the same, check out [hobokengrace.com/teams](http://hobokengrace.com/teams).

_Brittney is a member of the Writing Team, and writing this was much easier than talking about it._


Inviting for Introverts

Last year, as a church, we prayed that everyone would invite two people to join them on Easter. Church attendance doubled. A record 1790 people came to Hoboken Grace that Sunday.

Studies show that people are more likely to attend church on Easter Sunday than any other date. But what if we not only invited people we know on Easter, what if we prayed that God would allow us to cross paths with people who need to be invited?

Think about your own story, the stories of the people in your dinner group, the stories of the people you’ve met at connection events, and the people whose stories you’ve read on this blog.

In some cases, someone did invite them to church. But more often, it seems, God used people indirectly. Maybe someone saw your post on social media, or you handed them a granola bar at the PATH. Maybe they read your blog post, or watched your video, or saw you smiling outside 301 Garden. Or maybe they walked in one day and you invited them to come back by the way you shook their hand, or played that song, or cared for their kids.

What if in addition to praying about the people we want to invite this Easter, each one of us also asked God to use us this season? Let’s pray that the words and smiles of our team members and dinner group friends would impact others. That God would use us to reach not just the people we’re inviting, but everyone we encounter.

Like Jesus, we need to meet people where they are. And that means we need to pray for opportunities to reach people who need to be invited. If we asked God to use each one of us this season, the possibilities for impact are endless.

Easter service times are as follows:

**Good Friday, March 30th:** 5 p.m. (with Grace Kids), 6:30 p.m. (no Grace Kids)

**Easter Saturday Service, March 31st:** 5 p.m. (with Grace Kids)

**Easter Sunday Service, April 1st:** 8:30 a.m. (with Grace Kids), 10 a.m. (with Grace Kids), 11:30 a.m. (with Grace Kids), 1 p.m. (no Grace Kids)


Who Will You Invite To Easter?

At its core, Simple Service is what it sounds like- it’s a simple way to love those in our community. It’s handing someone a free granola bar at the PATH, just because they may not have had time for breakfast. It’s offering your neighbor a bottle of water on a sweltering day, or a MetroCard with a free ride.

Simple Service has one goal, to make people smile. Through a small act of kindness, we can show a bit of how God has loved us. We can demonstrate His love in a practical way.

Ever since Hoboken Grace launched ten years ago, a team has been conducting these small acts of kindness all over the city. We’ll never know exactly how many people have been impacted, but we do know that one simple act has huge potential.

These are the stories of three people who were handed a granola bar more than six years ago and how they are still being impacted by it to this day.

[![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2018/03/Screen-Shot-2018-03-08-at-4.07.22-PM-e1520543954343.jpg)](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2018/03/Screen-Shot-2018-03-08-at-4.07.22-PM-e1520543954343.jpg)[ ](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2018/03/Screen-Shot-2018-03-08-at-4.07.22-PM.jpg)

### 

### 

### Noelle

“My friend Courtney and I had just moved to Hoboken after college and we were looking for a church to attend here,” said Noelle. “One morning we were walking to the PATH station and a handsome, bearded man handed us a Chewy bar. So we were talking later that day and decided, ‘Hey, let’s try this place out.’ We went that Sunday, and we signed up for a dinner group.”

“The granola bar was about loving people and making them feel welcome,” she said. “Connection Points are the human form of a Chewy bar — when new people come, they make them feel welcome and talk to them and make them feel like they know someone at church, especially if it’s their first time.”

![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2017/10/Photo20-1024x576.jpg)

### Gabby

“I was approached at the Exchange Place PATH Station about six years ago,” said Gabby. “Someone handed me a granola bar and business card, which seemed odd to me at the time. The woman didn’t ask for anything in return and as I went into the station, I noticed the name of the church on the card. At that time, I wasn’t considering going to another church because I had a church home. However, the simplicity of it struck me, and I wanted to see similar outreach at my own church.”

About five years later, Gabby started attending Hoboken Grace.

“I’m glad that seed was planted six years ago,” she said. “And besides, who doesn’t like granola bars?”

[![](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2018/03/Screen-Shot-2018-03-08-at-3.59.13-PM.jpg)](https://res.cloudinary.com/dzs7qxusf/image/upload/v1/archive/2018/03/Screen-Shot-2018-03-08-at-3.59.13-PM.jpg)

### Rachel

“I had been commuting in and out of the city for about a year when one day a guy handed me a granola bar and a card at the PATH station,” said Rachel. “I needed a snack before the gym and he looked normal, so I took it and said thanks.”

“We hope that our small gift brightens your day just a little,” the card said. “We believe that people were meant to love the way God loves us, and we want to do that in any way we can.”

The card reminded Rachel of a time in her life when she’d felt comforted by God. She put it on her nightstand when she got home and forgot about it. But for weeks, she felt something tug at her heart each time she saw it. So Rachel convinced two friends to come with her to check out Hoboken Grace. She hadn’t been to church in years, but something about going stuck with her.

“And two weeks later I went back again by myself,” she said. “This time there was a girl with dark hair who greeted me. She was so nice, and although I was hesitant and unsure about this whole church thing, I talked to her that Sunday evening and then every Sunday evening after that. She invited me to her dinner group and we began having conversations that would change the rest of my life.”

Nearly a decade later, Rachel is on staff at Hoboken Grace. As the director of Grace Kids, she works to make both parents and children feel welcome each Sunday.

“It’s amazing one small act of kindness (giving me a granola bar) and Ana’s welcoming smile could have such an impact,” Rachel said. “It was small, but it changed the trajectory of my life.”

_Want to learn more about Simple Service? Email james@hobokengrace.com for next steps._


Simple Service, Huge Potential

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A Diverse, Growing, Contemporary, Community Church in Hoboken

Everything we do revolves around our mission of helping people find their way back to God. Our goal is to demonstrate who God really is and to let others know that God wants a relationship with each and every one of us.

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